JolieSimons.com

I’ve just learned the sad news that George Carlin passed away. He was 71.

Carlin had a chat with my husband backstage at a concert once. George was performing at our college’s performing arts theater. George was waiting around for his showtime and my husband was doing some security, a boring job that amounted to keeping people from coming in a certain door. My husband had his homework in hand, a book of short stories.

George, who couldn’t have been nicer, signed a record for our mutual friend, talked to my husband about literature, and reccommended a book that my husband loved, the short stories of Breece D’J Pancake. This was, apparently, one of George Carlin’s favorite authors.

Everyone else might remember George Carlin from the seven words you can’t say on TV or from his movie roles in Dogma, Jersey Girl or Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure. Still others will remember Carlin as a counterculture icon with an ascerbic tongue, a witty pen, and a knack for knowing what’s funny.

Words can’t describe how much the pioneering comic will be missed among fans of movie, comedy, or the counterculture.

Last week, the Barack Obama campaign created a new website at FightTheSmears.com, an entire website devoted to refuting those forwarded Internet rumors about Obama’s history and character. On the site, you can find direct refutation of such famous smears as “Barack Obama doesn’t say the Pledge of Allegiance” or “Barack Obama is secretly a radical Muslim.” You can read the Obama camp’s explanation here.

Slate had a great take on the whole Obama rumor mill, contending that trying to refute a smear campaign won’t amount to much gained in the way of public opinion. Those that choose to believe ridiculous rumors are probably predisposed to Obama-hating and won’t be swayed. Those who think critically probably never believed those silly rumors to begin with, the sort that would probably consider voting for Obama anyway.

Slate’s suggestion? Offer up some rumors of their own. The Obama camp must circulate an email right now talking about the “real” truth behind Obama, including the following rumor suggestions:

“Barack Obama has the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE tattooed on his stomach. It’s upside-down, so he can read it while doing sit-ups.”

“There’s only one artist on Barack Obama’s iPod: FRANCIS SCOTT KEY.”

“Barack Obama is a DEVOUT CHRISTIAN. His favorite book is the BIBLE, which he has memorized. His name means HE WHO LOVES JESUS in the ancient language of Aramaic. He is PROUD that Jesus was an American.”

“Barack Obama says that Americans cling to GUNS and RELIGION because they are AWESOME.”

Circulate this email widely to all your friends.

Recently, John McCain revealed on his campaign blog that he’s a huge ABBA fan. While that’s nice in a slightly gay-in-the-’70s way, can John McCain say that his iPod is filled with Francis Scott Key? Didn’t think so.

(P.S. If you’re unsure about the sarcasm, read this article about, well, sarcasm.)

The first album in three years to have debut-week sales at over a million physical copies–as in CD’s–has reminded us that the music industry is truly dead. Lil Wayne’s Tha Carter III just had some bang-up sales this past week, surpassing the million-copy mark. Sales like that haven’t been seen since 50 Cent’s The Massacre three years ago.

I’ll put this in perspective for those who are white and over the age of thirty or so: Lil Wayne and 50 Cent are rappers and this is a huge indicator of the change in the music industry. The only music that’s selling well is niche music like hip-hop, contemporary country, and the occasional indie rock disk. This explains why the Billboard charts are often littered with the likes of Death Cab for Cutie and Taylor Swift, the teenage contemporary country phenom. That’s not to say that people no longer like more mainstream formats like modern rock or pop, but these artists no longer sell well.

On the other side of the coin, digital purveyors have reported sales that are steadily increasing. CNET reports that Apple’s iTunes service has recently hit the 5 billion sales mark. Ten years ago, music executives were certain that nobody would use a service like iTunes and were adversaries of digital music. These were the same executives that told everyone that nobody would every consider buying digital music. I hope those executives no longer have jobs.

Thing is, the music industry is changing, and often in very bad ways. Niche music is often overrepresented because the assumption is that nobody listens to rock or rock radio anymore. This couldn’t be further from the truth, but unfortunately, rock and pop listeners aren’t buying records. Rock and pop listeners are downloading or burning from others, stacking the industry against them.

Remember the good old days of the mid-nineties, the days of the super-album? Albums like Alanis Morissette’s Jagged Little Pill, Hootie and the Blowfish’s Cracked Rear View, and Dave Matthews Band’s Crash could sell tens of millions of copies, have five radio singles from a single album, and still retain the interest of fans? Those were the days.

In the meantime, I say the music industry has wrought much of this misery on themselves. First, they fail to quickly act in order to embrace the inevitability of digital music. Even today, there are still record labels and artists who remain off of digital music formats for one reason or another. Radiohead only recently allowed services like iTunes to carry their back catalog. So when the music’s not there and the music appeals to a young, tech-savvy crowd, they steal rather than buy. Plus, young music fans know what the record companies are all about. They continue to sue the pants off of kids in college, and sometimes grandmas and children. According to the RIAA, the threat of a lawsuit makes you more enamored of the industry you devote so much time and energy to.

Perhaps the slow death rattle of the record companies is a good thing. With digital music, anyone can distribute their own tunes and promote themselves without a huge record company budget. Ultimately this may be the best thing that’s ever happened to quality music in this country.

TMZ is reporting that the American Medical Association or AMA, and more specifically the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology, is issuing a decree against various types of home birth and midwifery, aimed specifically at Ricki Lake.

Why Ricki Lake? Well,this year, Lake helped produce a documentary about the birth industry called The Business of Being Born. The documentary centered around various insiders in the home birth world as well as a few doctors who doubt the efficacy and safety of home births and midwives. The conclusion of the film was, essentially, that the birth industry is being run like a business and women are suffering for it. Infant mortality is very high in this country, higher than in nations that support home birth and midwife options. Countries highly accepting of home birth and midwifery have lower infant mortality rates, lower incidences of cesarean sections, lower birth costs, and generally better conditions for pregnant moms.

Lake’s argument is nothing new, of course. In the film, the director interviews Ina May Gaskin, a famous home birth advocate since the sixties who, over the course of her career, has assisted in the home-based births of thousands of women.

My older brother and I were both born in home-based births and, since I was a child, have heard about the horrors of the medically-controlled birth industry, including the views of Ina May Gaskin. Now, I’m not that old, but am still old enough to know that this was an issue that’s not recent since I was hearing about the ineffective birth industry more than twenty years ago. Now, as an adult, the issue is being revisited by the likes of Lake and Naomi Wolf who, in 2003, published a scathing indictment of the birth industry in her book Misconceptions. Both Wolf and Lake come to similar conclusions: medical intervention is nice, but is not necessary for all women. Home-based birth and midwifery are effective, cheap, and emotionally and physically beneficial to women with normal pregnancies.

Not surprisingly, the AMA has a beef with home births. Think of it this way: the AMA is an organization of doctors that has far too much influence on the medical industry. The AMA is known for opposing many ideas, not for the general health of the populace, but as a self-preservation method. The AMA is interested mostly in the bottom line of doctors, not the health of Americans.

Home births obviously cut into the profits of OB/GYN’s. The average hospital birth can involve steady drips with drugs, a delivery by a doctor, and medical intervention that often leads to cesarean section births rather than preventing them. A cesarean will net the he hospital and OB several thousand dollars extra. While a home birth with a qualified midwife might only cost a few thousand, a vaginal hospital birth will be twice that, and a full medical birth with a pitocin drip, epidural, and cesarean intervention may run up to $8,000 or more.

The AMA’s resolution states that they are trying to write and pass legislation (PDF warning) affirming their belief that hospital births are the safest, the same argument they’ve been giving for years. What they fail to mention in their resolution is the high infant mortality rate that is a very possible result of the large number of hospital births in our nation. The United States ranks 163rd in the work in infant mortality, and nations like Luxemborg, Cuba, Singapore, and South Korea have lower infant mortality rates than the U.S. Is hospital birth really safer with numbers like these?

Lake shot back at the AMA report, telling the AP, quote

“It’s scary that both (the ACOG and the AMA) have sort of targeted me,” Lake told The Associated Press on Tuesday. “And, you know, I’m all about choice. This is not unlike the abortion issue. I am pro-choice when it comes to childbirth and choices in birth. Home birth was around long before hospitals were taking over — and I just think women need to know (the information) so that they can make the best choice for them.”

I spotted the following picture about Barack Obama and I’m frankly quite sick.

Turns out some Republican-themed vendor is selling the above buttons at the state Republican convention in Texas. No matter how often John McCain denounces ignorance and hate within the more conservative sector of the country, there’s still no appeasing the completely ignorant.

Apparently, many of those ignorant people live in Texas.

As you may recall from earlier this year, a wealthy Colorado businessman was speaking at a trade show when he was taped telling this very “joke” to a large crowd that, like it or not, a few clapped after the joke was told. He caught hell because of that statement and he later apologized.

The same rule must apply in this case. This vendor should be pulled and offered no more contracts with Republicans. Also, we should take a long, hard look at this issue within ourselves. Barack Obama is probably acutely aware that his race will still be a struggle with a certain percentage of America. Frustrating, but ending racism is an uphill battle.

McCain, to his credit, has smartly embraced the idea of avoiding race altogether. After all, in our modern society, we are supposed to be colorblind.

Seems like people are getting really worked up about mixed martial arts. However, let’s take a departure from sport and delve into presidential politics.

Overcoming all the setbacks, Obama has recently been crowned by the media as official Candidate for the Democratic party. Clinton, however, has not yet officially stepped out of the race yet and Clinton’s camp is claiming that she is looking for a way to bow out gracefully. Or maybe that’s a lie and she’ll fight a presumably losing battle all the way to the Democratic Convention in August.

Obama is the most unlikely candidate in U.S. history and his candidacy is truly historic. Obama has overcome great setbacks in his campaign:

• Barack Obama is the first serious black candidate for President from the two major political parties to appear on the November ballot. Previous black candidates like Jesse Jackson never made it out of the primaries.
• Obama has fought back against a decentralized smear campaign, including allegations that he is secretly a Muslim, the Antichrist, and a non-loyal U.S. citizen.
• Obama has laughed in the face of media-heavy scandal, including arguments over the Reverend Jeremiah Wright, Obama’s former pastor. He has since quit his old church in Chicago. Polls have shown that most people don’t care, despite media coverage of the story.
• Obama is also quite possibly the most liberal serious candidate in years, certainly more liberal than President Clinton, Al Gore, or John Kerry. Democrats sigh relief. Finally, no more having to vote for a trumped-up moderate Republican candidate who masquerades as a Democrat.

We now have 22 weeks until the general election in November where Obama will face presumptive candidate John McCain.

If you have not done so, now would be a good time to register to vote or change your address. Remember, many states, including my home state of Missouri, have enacted tough voter ID laws, probably to keep Democratic voters–you know, the poor, minorities–away from the polls. Now is the time to review laws in your state. Most require you to show some sort of proof of residency like a photo ID, recent utility bill, or bank statement when voting.

Regardless of outcome, this election will turn out to be one for the history books.

The recent mainstream acceptance of the sport of mixed martial arts, known as MMA, recently had a big breakthrough. On Saturday, the first primetime MMA event aired on CBS. Elite XC Saturday Night Fights introduced the primetime broadcast television world to the controversial sport.

Parade magazine said the game should be banned. The world of “legitimate” sports has long criticized the sport for not actually being a sport and more controlled brutality. Fans, however, mostly young men, flock to MMA which makes a sport out of kicking, punching, and grappling with others. Yes, people bleed. Yes, there are lots of really painful-looking things going on. Yes, it’s violent. But let me try to explain to women why this sport should matter and why you should not freak out so much about the popularity of this “fighting sport.”

One of the bones of contention for the CBS event was the women’s fight between Gina Carano and Kaitlin Young. You may know Carano as Crush, the “hot” gladiator on NBC’s series American Gladiators. Carano has been called the face of women’s mixed martial arts since women haven’t really been major players in MMA until Carano showed up. So far, she’s undefeated and trains with some very elite names in the MMA community. She’s being trained by Extreme Coture, the fighting school established by MMA hall of famer Randy Coture. Then again, maybe she’ll do American Gladiators full time and will quit the daily grind of fight training.

Thing is, fighting looks pretty violent. In the early days of UFC, one of the sport’s major fight organizers, fights were brutal and the stuff of paid subscription television. There were no rules, so any man could fight any other man, so they did. Men’s teeth were kicked out. Hair was pulled. Groins were kicked. Blood was spilled, sometimes in copious amounts. This wasn’t a sport but televised brutality. While the “train wreck” appeal was undeniable, it quickly became apparent to everyone that the sport had to change in order to gain respect.

So the sport pulled together and created some unified rules. In UFC events and Elite XC events, there is no eye gouging, groin kicking, or elbows to the head while fighters are on the ground. There’s no breaking of fingers. Ringside doctors have the power to stop any fight at any time. Referees are required to stop fights they feel might become dangerous.

MMA may look brutal. It is fighting, after all, but the danger is overemphasized by critics. MMA doesn’t kill. Dale Earnhardt fans know all too well the pain of sports death, and the danger of sports like NASCAR, the NFL, or even horse racing are understated in the media while the dangers of MMA are overstated. MMA requires that fights be stopped before anyone actually gets hurt.

The idea is that fighters get to the point when they could potentially hurt each other seriously, like locking someone’s arm or chocking someone while on the ground. When this happens, the fight ends before harm is actually done. Nobody’s breaking their arms because the fighter wins when he proves that they could but before he actually does. Boxing emphasizes standing up, even though tremendous damage is being done to the brain, and Muhammad Ali is reminder of the damage that can be done by boxing. MMA, however, is a sport where the fight is stopped before the damage is done. If you’re not fighting back, you lose. No exceptions.

Then, there’s the question of taste. How tasteful can it be to have muscle-bound men, with the occasional woman, punch, kick, and wrestle each other in the name of sport? How can a sport be tasteful if so many of its athletes bleed during competition? Therein lies the most legitimate criticism of MMA.

When I was a young girl, I used to watch my grandfather while he watched boxing on TV. Grandpa was quite possibly the world’s most mild-mannered man. He had a heavy accent and a dark, brooding look about him, softened over the years by gray hair and the rounding of old age. He also loved to watch boxing, a surprising sport for a man like him to enjoy.

As boxing events wore on throughout the afternoon, he would sit in the living room, watching as men would pound each other about the head and body. He’d ball up his fists and hold them under his neck, occasionally throwing light punches in the air and shouting in the language I didn’t know. Eventually the frustration would overwhelm him and he’d storm out of the room to go work in the garden. A few minutes later, though, he’d always return to find out what happened.

I feel like our tastes don’t always have to define us. Yes, most MMA fans are young men, the kind of men who buy energy drinks and malt liquor, perennial corporate sponsors of MMA events. I, however, am a fan. I don’t know why I’m a fan, but MMA seems like a harmless indulgence. If sweaty men want to punch and kick each other for money and they want me to watch, I’ll watch.

So there you have it, MMA in a nutshell. Ladies, feel free to hate MMA if you want. I, on the other hand, will be enjoying last week’s big UFC pay-per-view event, hoping for some nice armbar or rear naked choke action.