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The lads of Top Gear

Hello again. I haven’t written in a while, but now I’m back! (Mild, condescending applause). I’ll get back to Arrested Development movie news soon, but today, we’re talking about cars. And television. 

I know you’ve heard me say this before, but one of the best television shows in the world is the BBC’s amusing car show Top Gear. One of the most popular shows in the world, Top Gear brings you three very different English blokes talking about cars, testing new models, and participating in various car-related challenges. 

Now, being from the land of well-refined car snobbery, the English have managed to get the world excited about cars, especially European  cars. The series has spawned versions in other countries like Australia, as well as the occasional copycat. Wikipedia tells me (and they would never lie) that about 350 million people watch Top Gear all over the world.

Now, let’s move on to NBC. The Peacock is struggling a bit at the moment. Despite having one of the funniest sitcoms on the air in Tina Fey’s 30 Rock, NBC suffered a blow from lowered Super Bowl ratings and has fallen into fourth place in ratings among the four majors. So it would seem that NBC would want to take a different approach, and approach that might, you know, produce programming that others might want to watch.

Adam Carolla

So last year, NBC ordered a pilot of an American version of Top Gear. At the helm would be Adam Carolla of The Man Show and Loveline fame, but also the very funny host of The Adam Carolla Radio  Show, a syndicated radio show out of Los Angeles. He also recently released a very funny and touching movie called The Hammer. Sitting alongside Adam would be Eric Stromer, star of Over Your Head on HGTV, and Tanner Foust, a stunt car driver. 

I’m sad to report that, despite sagging ratings (because everybody wants to watch more Howie Do It, obviously) and a built-in fan base, NBC has officially passed on an American version of Top Gear. So instead of funny car stunts and hot lap times in fast cars, NBC continues to do more of the same. Perhaps a cable network might pick up Top Gear but, in the meantime, fast car voyeurs in this country have to be satisfied with shows that just aren’t that entertaining.

I know American car companies are struggling, but perhaps there’s a good reason: today’s kids just aren’t excited about cars because there’s nothing to be excited about. Sure, it’s nice to foam at the mouth at the sight of an Astin Martin DB9, but how many eight year olds are excited about, say, a Cadillac or Pontiac? Wouldn’t it be nice to try and cultivate some fans for your product with, say, an entertaining TV show? I’m just saying…

Britons, if you are reading this, perhaps you could explain some things to me.

For Yanks, here’s the story. BBC Radio Two is apparently the most popular radio station in England. On Radio Two, listeners could tune in to a late night radio show hosted by none other than Russell Brand. Americans know Brand from the film Forgetting Sarah Marshall and American teens know him as the most recent host of MTV’s Video Music Awards.

Brits, however, have had quite enough of Brand’s antics, apparently. On Brand’s October 18th episode of his TV show, he and popular BBC presenter Jonathon Ross were having a bit of fun. Americans won’t recognize Jonathon Ross at all, so no point in trying to explain. Suffice it to say that Ross is one of the highest paid men on the BBC payroll for his work on both radio and TV.

Both men thought it would be a good idea to make cheeky phone calls to Andrew Sachs’s answering machine. Sachs is best known for his acting role on Fawlty Towers as the Spanish waiter. For those Americans who didn’t watch as much PBS as I did growing up, you probably don’t know who Sachs is, either.

Point is, Brand and Ross decided to joke that Brand had slept with Sachs’s granddaughter and told him just that. So, in a series of possibly-misguided comedy bits, the two men left several messages for Sachs claiming so, making it worse, and milking the moment for comedy.

Apparently that sort of thing doesn’t go over well with Brits.

Because of a joke phone call, Ross has been suspended for about three months without pay. That means he can’t do his radio show, and he can’t present–or “host” as we say in the States–on his or any other BBC television show. BBC News reports claim that this gaff could cost Ross about 1 million pounds.

Brand has quit his show as well. Damn, I was really starting to enjoy his podcasts.

Now the station director at Radio Two, Lesley Douglas, has quit her job over the incident.

So Britons, I want to know: what’s so wrong with that?

I realize it’s not technically polite to call an aging actor and make obscene claims on his answering machine. However, have you ever heard the raunchy talk on American morning radio shows?

Perhaps one of you could explain what in the world was so wrong with a crude joke? I mean, they may be rude, but Ross and Brand are certainly no Opie and Anthony.

UPDATE: Seems like we get away with much more on our airwaves here in America. Plus, we don’t have that English propensity for perpetual politeness. I guess our ability to spread out and have more personal space is a contributor to that, making us, in the minds of the space-cramped Europeans, rude, loud, and obnoxious. And so the cultural divide continues.

Blame it on Top Gear.

For those that don’t know, one of the funniest, coolest, and entertaining shows on television worldwide is a show out of the UK called Top Gear. Top Gear invovles three presenters, all former car journalists, talking cars. They perform crazy stunts, test hot cars, and have an in-house racing driver only known as The Stig. While this might not seem like the formula for great television, the formula is rife with laughs and chemistry. Yanks, of course, don’t know this show very well, but an American version of the show is coming, starring the very-funny Adam Carolla. The British version, however, has changed my life.

The lads of Top Gear

At one point, I could care less about cars. Today, I love talking and reading car news. My head whips around every time I see a beautiful, exotic car passing by. And, naturally, I’ve begun to love European cars all the more. As you can probably imagine, the middle-aged blokes on Top Gear don’t care much for American cars or, in the case of Jeremy Clarkson (the one in the brown jacket), Americans. A car, what was once just a tool, is now a passion. I need, NEED a sweet ride, and the Mini seems to fit the bill.

Unfortunately for us, my husband and I made a recent trip to a Mini dealership here in St. Louis. My husband is a large man. We figured that our love for the British racing car with character, the Mini Cooper or the turbo-charged Cooper S would be asuaged once we found that my husband couldn’t fit in one. Nope. He fit just fine with room to spare.

These cars may be boxy, but they are delight on the inside. The interior has quite a bit of space for a car that small. The racing pedigree gives a nice flavor to the interior, and the racing-inspired seats and dials make you feel like it’s the sixties and you’re racing around a twisty track, even if you’re taking the kids to school. Even the seemingly-annoying options are charming. Imagine if every Saturn came with the option of an American Flag roof. Minis, however, have the option of an American flag, the Union Jack, or a checkered pattern on your roof and rearview mirrors.

Unfortunately, all this soul does come at a bit of a price. Now a Mini isn’t terribly expensive compared to, say, a Bimmer. However to Cooper base model starts at around $19,000 while a Cooper S starts around $22,000, not including all the fun options. Compared to other compacts, thought, it’s a bit of a stretch. Plus, what fun is a racing car without all the options?

So, my friends, I’m back on my blog with this note: I’ve got a fancy new job in an office, and I vow to brown bag it until the day I can buy the perfect Mini for me. I accept contributions to my cause.

You can build your own Mini here.